In pursuit to live, but in preparation to die…

நல்குரவும் செல்வும் நரகும் சுவர்க்கமுமாய்,

வெல்பகையும் நட்பும் விடமும் அமுதமுமாய்… 

(திருவாய்மொழி 6.3)

Does life and death contradict each other or do they feed each other? How interesting, millions lives, zillion thoughts, no two people agree one hundred percent, but all of us converge at the point of death. Growing up, we all have seen people suffer on deathbed and die. And people around them are mourning and saying things which they wish they had said earlier. Still it doesn't even hit me a bit that one day I will die too. It's hard to even think, but why? Is it because I am not prepared for it or is it because I am always in a pursuit to live better?

மின்னின் நிலையில மன்னுயிர் ஆக்கைகள்... (திருவாய்மொழி 1.2.2)

I'm happy that my Monday mornings are exciting. And I want to be with my loved ones and follow my passions as if nothing would end. But, accepting (not yet realizing 🙂) that my time is limited and there will be an end to all my pursuit makes me question my life. And the only thing that made sense was to prepare for it first because its the only certain thing to happen with an uncertain element of when and how. Like analogous to preparing a good climax to a story first and finishing a script based on that.

This perspective of thinking my end days (tricky part is we never know when) has definitely made an impact on my life. Questioning in terms of my decision making? What do I really want to do and why? With whom do I wanna spend more time? Who should I get married to? and many more. And the thing that feels the most important is what values do I want to possess? Will I be a satisfied man on my deathbed? A daily reminder of these makes me relatively humbler, happier, satisfying, fearless, forgiving, and having the zeal towards life.

அழுக்காறு அவாவெகுளி இன்னாச்சொல் நான்கும்

இழுக்கா இயன்றது அறம்.  (திருக்குறள் 35)

At the same time, the preparation for it has been really challenging and it is a never ending process where the answer lies in the action of how we pursue life. And how we pursue life depends on how we prepare for death. Just feeding on each other.

Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do. - James 1 23:25

In the end, all I can hope for is to put in my genuine efforts and remember that we all knowingly or unknowingly are pursuing to live better and in the process we are preparing for our death too. But, there lies a beautiful opportunity to define not only how we live, but how we die as well. And the only thing that I have realized so far is, I have a very long way to go and not even a step has been taken towards the journey. Wishing, as I age, I live life with some worthy purpose and die gracefully. அஞ்சாதிருக்கவருள்! (Bless me with no fear)

வினைத்திட்பம் என்பது ஒருவன் மனத்திட்பம்
மற்றைய எல்லாம் பிற. (திருக்குறள் 661)

Understand everyone has their own journey in discovering life, but let me know what you think.